If you’re here because you clicked a colorful link to our website, then let us begin by congratulating you for your boldness. Thankfully you do not have a virus! At least as far as we are aware. In any case, you are probably wondering why you’re here and what this website is all about. If you’re curious about the people behind Dawn Somewhere, then you can read about us. However, if you’re just wondering where to start, the below will give you a run down on what you can find here:

 

Allen Hour:
Although some attractions on this site take a great deal of time to finish and many of us are stretched thin by work and other obligations, we still like to entertain in the interim. Hence was born Allen Hour, a series of simple, short, often bizarre comedy routines written for us by Allen Chaney. Easy to put together, these videos are typically unscripted and require less than a day to hash out, relying only on Allen’s creative vision at the time.

Though not requiring the devotion of some of our other works, Allen Hour makes up for the lack of polish by being easy to watch and often interesting, sometimes accompanied by a decent musical soundtrack. After all, if your afternoon is free, why not spend a few minutes watching a man eat the head clear off the shoulders of a five pound gummy bear?

 

Lord of the Dwarves:
Drawn by Petirep, Lord of the Dwarves is the tale of five lost, bickering dwarves on their long journey home to Forbidden Mountain, from which they have been expelled by a horrible monster. Based on inspirations ranging from Tolkien, Dwarf Fortress, Terry Pratchett, The Odyssey, Xenophon, DnD, and even some elements from The Warriors, our story pits our noble, racist heroes against goblins, gangs, giants, gray-haired wizards, and more often than any other foe, each other.

The comic is a comedic in nature and updates about once a week.

 

Rainbow Dash Presents:
RDP, as we like to abbreviate, is the meandering, illustrated re-tellings of My Little Pony fanfiction as read by a parody of MLP’s original Rainbow Dash. Easily the most popular component of the site and one that goes highly recommended, RDP has the tendency to be cute and silly, transforming horrible gore fics into tales of romance, serenade, and deception.

Typically starring a lovable goof of a pony, replacing MLP’s canon competitive, headstrong athlete, our version of Rainbow Dash has a limited scope of the world and a difficult time concentrating on it. The end result is often a foray into incoherent justifications for things most sane individuals would never consider – you know, a lot like most fiction! Accompanied by her friends, also exaggerated parodies of their show counterparts, sometimes Dash’s dramatic readings are almost completed the way the original author intended.

Each episode can take a few months to produce, as the art is all drawn frame at a time by Petirep, the one and only contributing artist. These videos can contain an upwards of one thousand images in a single episode lasting twenty minutes. Later episodes begin to feature musical numbers as well as additional characters and voice actors.

 

Remarkable DeMarcus:
These videos are the fabulous tales of a fabulous man who knows just about everything there is to know. DeMarcus is your one stop source for knowledge about whatever he happens to be talking about at the time. Essentially it serves as an advice column, but updates occur quite sporadically.

Tetra Conflict:
This comic is one of the few enterprises not overseen by or at least in some way involving Greg. Entirely written and drawn by Alex Churn, nobody else on Dawn Somewhere has any idea what the comic intends to be about or where it means to go. Greg, who accepted the comic from Alex, refuses to ask. It updates when Alex chooses, which may or may not be twice weekly, and the comic appears to be about a man named Danger Flamethrower.

 

ABOUT US: 

There is a lot to be said about certain kinds of people on the internet. Most people like to think they follow their own rules and are quite unique, but in reality, the thing most unique about the Dawn Somewhere contributors is that they’re confident enough in their ridiculous hobbies that they would post themselves online. It puts us on the level of scrap-bookers and owners of funny cats. If you’re interested in reading about such people, the below is all you’d want to know!

Allen Chaney
An old high school friend of Greg’s, Allen is the man responsible for the voices of Rainbow Dash Presents’ Thrackerzod and Princess Celestia and for the writing for Allen Hour. In his own words, he describes the voices as “excited Space Ghost” and “that merchant from Resident Evil 4” respectively. Currently he is carrying two of our most memorable and popular Rainbow Dash Presents characters, and his ability to do so is assisted by a background in performance and improv comedy.

One of the most important traits to remember about Allen and his Allen Hour series is that, by his own admission, Allen “is not episode eleven and he is not ponies”. We at Dawn Somewhere like to believe that not being ponies helps Allen stand out against a backdrop of things that are ponies, and not being episode eleven helps him blend in by making him similar to many things that are not episode eleven.

DeMarkcus Howell
DeMarkcus is one of the nicest guys you’ll meet, and he’s responsible for the voice of Rainbow Dash Presents’ Aurora, who currently has more unique fan art than any other character we’ve used. Originally, the script called for him to do the voice as “Kermit the Frog as a little girl who is a horse”, and DeMarkcus decided that something like a Bill Cosby parody would do that description the most justice. It was a good call, and now Aurora has even had her own music video, and we intend to do more with her in the future.

DeMarkcus also stars in his own series called “Remarkable DeMarcus”, wherein Greg misspelled DeMarkcus’s name and refuses to admit fault. It’s too late now – the deed is done. A little more involved than Allen Hour and requiring more time, the production of this series gets sadly neglected too often, but DeMarkcus’s capable advice is valuable to anyone!

Greg Hoffman
Usually posting under the web name FiMFlamFilosophy, Greg is the unparalleled genius behind this About Us page, and no other About Us page could ever compare to this one. In fact, if you were to rate Greg’s About Us page writing ability on a scale of one to ten, you would have to invent a new theoretical number that was higher than ten but that still fell between one and ten just to do so accurately.

If this About Us page were a country, it would have the most equal dispersion of wealth on earth, because pretty much everyone on this page is flat broke. It would have no natural exports because we would lack the manpower to do much beyond sustenance farming, and we’d have a low fertility rate because there’s way more men than women. All the same, we’d still kick the ass of any other About Us page that was turned into a country.

Ryan (Petirep)
More commonly known as Petirep, his web moniker, Petirep is the industrious artist behind Rainbow Dash Presents and Lord of the Dwarves. Among his fans he has a somewhat legendary reputation for the speed of his work, and he’s getting better all the time. Petirep first joined the Dawn Somewhere team by chance after submitting some fan art for the initial madness that began everything, a project called “The Mentally Advanced Series”. His adorable style turned out perfectly for the adventures of an oblivious pastel pony, and without his contributions the entire series would not be what it is now!

Aside from projects for Dawn Somewhere, Petirep also does commissions by hire. Like most of us on the Dawn Somewhere team, Petirep works and his time is limited, but if you have an OC idea then Petirep might be the man to put your imagination on paper. Creative in his own right, one of the most beneficial aspects of Petirep’s work with us is his ability to turn the occasionally vague vision into something concrete.

Smeg
Smeg’s role at Dawn Somewhere is a tale of tragedy, romance, and horror. In his humble beginnings he served his people as the king of Bavaria. However, after some political debacles and a minor scandal involving a widely hated young woman who he had promoted to baroness, Smeg was forced to abdicate from the throne in shame. It was a difficult time for Bavaria and a significant aid to Nazi politics at the time.

After a brief sojourn to the Himalayas, where he lived among yhetties and learned the art of being blurry and indistinct on film, Smeg’s mind was hijacked by space leprechauns. They forced Smeg to do unspeakable things in the pursuit of gold, and needless to say, Smeg is no longer welcome in Nepal or St. Louis, Missouri. When at last the ordeal ended, Smeg’s mind was freed, but it left a lingering love for rainbows in its wake.

This strange color-lust was part of the motivation which drew him to the My Little Pony fandom, like so many of us before him. Smeg came forward from the shadows one evening and offered us the chance to use his personal server to host our site, and he promised us programming. Little did we realize the power would only drive Smeg mad – madder than your girlfriend when you walk into her room without knocking.

In Smeg’s anger, he attempted to kill the only woman he ever loved non-Platonically. He then tore a portal into a dimension we cannot follow him to, and since then he has been working against Dawn Somewhere at every turn. That’s why we redesigned the website and wrested power from him. Carrying on any sort of discussion with the nefarious Smeg is considered high treason and is a bannable offense on this website.

Remember, an open mind is like a fortress with a soft-serve machine and its gates unguarded. Be tolerant of the enemy, and your delicious soft-serve will soon be full of urine.

SpottableBus
Bus has a real name, but prefers the use of her web name. She is responsible for all of our female voice acting stopping short of Rainbow Dash Presents: My Little Dashie. Bus is a talented linguist and speaks a handful of languages, including German, Japanese, and Swedish, and she used this talent to help us in earlier projects by jabbering foreign nonsense. Bus is responsible for the voices of Snips and Snails in our earlier work, and also for the voice of Dazzler and Orion in Rainbow Dash Presents: Captain Hook the Biker Gorilla.